себи / себом
Reflexive Dative and Instrumental
The reflexive pronouns себи (dative/locative) and собом (instrumental) refer back to the subject of the clause, regardless of whether that subject is 'I', 'you', 'she', or 'they'. Standard Serbian uses себи for recipients, locations, and prepositional complements, and собом (never себом) for accompaniment and self-control.
How It Works
In Serbian, reflexive pronouns typically refer back to the subject or logical agent of the action. In the third person, using non-reflexive personal pronouns like њему, њој, њима instead of reflexive forms shifts the reference away from the subject to a completely different person.
1. Dative Functions (себи):
• Expresses an indirect object or recipient/beneficiary: Направио сам себи вечеру ('I made myself dinner').
• Used with verbs governing the dative: помоћи себи ('to help oneself').
• Governed by dative prepositions such as к / ка (доћи к себи 'to come to one's senses') and према (окренути се према себи 'to turn inward / focus on oneself', бити искрен према себи 'to be honest with oneself').
• Note: Standard Serbian has no short dative clitic (си); only the full tonic form себи is standard.
2. Locative Functions (себи):
• Serbian locative reflexive forms share the exact same morphological shape as the dative (себи).
• Appears after prepositions governing the locative: о себи ('about oneself'), у себи ('inwardly / to oneself'), на себи ('wearing / on oneself'), при себи ('on one's person / composed'), and in common idiomatic phrases like по себи / само по себи ('by itself / self-evidently').
3. Instrumental Functions (собом):
• Standard Serbian exclusively uses the vowel о in the instrumental: собом. The variant себом is non-standard and dialectal.
• Accompaniment: са собом ('along / with oneself'). Because собом begins with the sibilant с, the preposition obligatorily takes the shape са: са собом (never с собом).
• Spatial and reciprocal relations with prepositions: међу собом ('among themselves / mutually'), пред собом ('in front of oneself').
• Bare instrumental: Used without a preposition with specific verbs and adjectives, e.g., владати собом ('to control oneself'), задовољан собом ('satisfied with oneself').
4. Reflexive Pronoun vs. Possessive Adjective:
Do not confuse себи/собом with the possessive adjective свој. Себи and собом stand independently as pronouns, while свој modifies an overt noun. For example, Узми своју књигу means 'Take your (own) book' (possessive modifier), whereas Узми себи књигу means 'Take a book for yourself' (dative beneficiary).
Examples (4)
- Купила је себи нову јакну.
She bought herself a new jacket.
Word by Word: Bought is to-herself new jacket.
Here, 'себи' is in the dative case as an indirect beneficiary referring back to the subject 'she'.
- Увек носи личну карту са собом.
He always carries an ID card with him.
Word by Word: Always carries personal card with with-himself.
The instrumental comitative phrase 'са собом' refers back to the third-person subject. Notice the obligatory 'са' before the sibilant stem.
- Дуго је ћутао и размишљао о себи.
He was quiet for a long time and thought about himself.
Word by Word: Long was silent and thought about himself.
'Себи' is used in the locative case following the topic preposition 'о'.
- Мораш да научиш да владаш собом у стресним ситуацијама.
You have to learn to control yourself in stressful situations.
Word by Word: You-must that you-learn that you-rule by-yourself in stressful situations.
The verb 'владати' governs the bare instrumental without the preposition 'са'.
Common Mistakes
Using personal pronouns instead of reflexive forms when referring back to the subject.
Имаш ли новца са тобом?Имаш ли новца са собом?When the complement refers back to the clause subject ('ти'), Serbian requires the reflexive form 'са собом', not the personal pronoun 'са тобом'.
Omitting the epenthetic vowel 'а' in front of 'собом'.
Понео сам све с собом.Понео сам све са собом.Because 'собом' starts with the sibilant /s/, the preposition must be 'са', never 'с'.
Using the accusative reflexive clitic 'се' instead of the dative 'себи' for an indirect beneficiary.
Купио сам се нове ципеле.Купио сам себи нове ципеле.'Се' is strictly an accusative direct object clitic. When the action is done 'for oneself' (dative beneficiary), you must use the full tonic form 'себи'.
How It Connects
Learn This First
To use 'себи' and 'себом/собом', you must understand the concept of reflexivity (acting on or referring back to oneself) and know how the dative and instrumental cases function in phrases and with prepositions.
- себе / сеReflexive Objects
Provides the foundational concept of the reflexive pronoun referring back to the grammatical subject, which is here extended to dative and instrumental forms.
Level 2 - Recipients in the Dative
Introduces the dative case function for indirect objects and recipients, needed to use 'себи' correctly.
Level 2 - Company and Means
Introduces the function and basic prepositional uses of the instrumental case, necessary for using 'себом' (e.g. 'са собом').
Level 2
Related Patterns
- свој / своја / својеPossession Referring to the Subject
Contrasts the nominal reflexive pronouns ('себи', 'собом') with the reflexive possessive adjective that modifies a noun.
Level 2 - са / с + InstrumentalDoing Things with Someone
Explains comitative usage with the preposition 'са' and the phonological condition governing when 'са' is obligatory.
Level 2 - мени / теби / њему / њојFull Dative Pronouns
Provides the non-reflexive full dative personal pronouns used when referring to distinct persons other than the subject.
Level 2
Words in This Pattern
Practice себи / себом in Bubblegum
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