Pronouns and social relationship

In Indonesian, pronouns are divided into distinct registers to reflect social hierarchy and intimacy:

1. The First Person ('I')

• saya: The formal and neutral standard. Use this with strangers, elders, and in professional settings.
• aku: The intimate form. Used with close friends, family, and in literature/songs.
• Gue (Gua): The standard for informal communication among youth in Jakarta and urban centers influenced by Betawi culture, signaling solidarity.
• Using one's own name: Speakers across regions and age groups may use their own name instead of 'I' as a polite way to avoid choosing a pronoun that encodes the wrong level of hierarchy. The strategy is not limited to children or to an endearing tone.
• Kinship Terms: In polite conversation, speakers often refer to themselves as Bapak or Ibu (or 'Kakak', 'Mas') when speaking to someone younger or of lower status to maintain a nurturing tone.

2. The Second Person ('You')

• Anda: Formal and professional. While it can feel cold or distancing in face-to-face interactions (where Bapak or Ibu is preferred), it is the standard, neutral choice for mass communication, advertising, broadcasting, and user interfaces.
• kamu: Familiar and soft. Used for friends, children, or peers.
• Lu (Lo): The informal urban counterpart to kamu, associated with familiar Jakarta-influenced circles; relationships and local practice determine its appropriateness.
• Kau: While it can sound blunt in Java, it is a standard, neutral-to-intimate pronoun in Sumatra (particularly among Batak and Malay speakers). When referring to God, capitalize the forms Kau, Engkau, and the attached form -Mu.

3. The Third Person ('He/She/It')

• dia: The standard third-person pronoun. It is perfectly acceptable in both formal and informal contexts, and can be used as either a subject or an object.
• ia: A formal third-person pronoun, primarily used in written Indonesian or formal speech. Unlike dia, ia is generally restricted to the subject role or pre-verbal positions, and is rarely used as a direct object.
• beliau: The respectful form used for elders, teachers, or public figures.
• Inanimate Objects ('It'): Dia and ia are generally reserved for humans and animals. To refer to inanimate objects, Indonesian usually drops the pronoun entirely, uses demonstratives like ini (this) or itu (that), or uses the suffix -nya.

4. Plural Pronouns

• kita: The inclusive 'we' (includes the person being spoken to).
• kami: The exclusive 'we' (excludes the person being spoken to).
• kalian: The plural 'you' (you all).
• mereka: The third-person plural 'they'.

5. Clitics / Attached Pronouns
Indonesian frequently uses short attached pronouns as prefixes (proclitics) for object-focus verbs, or as suffixes (enclitics) for possession and objects:

• Prefixes (Proclitics): ku- (first person) and kau- (second person) attach to the front of verbs in object-focus constructions (e.g., Buku itu kubaca).
• Suffixes (Enclitics): -ku (first person), -mu (second person), and -nya / -nya (third person) attach to the end of nouns for possession or verbs for objects.

6. The 'Polite' Alternative
To show maximum respect, native speakers often avoid pronouns. Instead of 'You,' they use titles like Bapak or Ibu (Sir/Ma'am), 'Mas' and 'Mbak' for younger adults and peers, or the listener's actual name (e.g., Budi mau ke mana?), a common polite and natural alternative.